he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
