How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
