is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
