weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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