Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
