i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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