Who wears a wallet chain?!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize