I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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