There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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