Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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