im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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