Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
