Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
why do cheetos always look like penises
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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