Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
