Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.