at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
