Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
