Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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