i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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