My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
