It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
