who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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