i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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