Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
