yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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