Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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