And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
