Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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