her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
