he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
