i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
