Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Randomize
