I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize