Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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