Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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