I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
