I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.