you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
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We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"