i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow