You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?