I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support