so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I AM VODKA MAN
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night