i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.