Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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