We won't sleep together?
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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