and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
