Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
