I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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