Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
