That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
