went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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