Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
