everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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