Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
