It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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