On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
