ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
