I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
