I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
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watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
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It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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