At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
