Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
