does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
