I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
