What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
