Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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